i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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