i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
