i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
