I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
