Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
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