did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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