you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
