don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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