Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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