one might say we're banned from that church
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
