It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
