Don't make out with my wife yet
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
