Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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