Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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