just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
