i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
