Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
