i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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