Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
