In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
