i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
should my penis look like a turkey
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
