More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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