Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
