Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
