she woke up with a sticky ear
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
