Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
no, he came in my armpit
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
