if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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