I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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