he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
