I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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