her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
