evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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