ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
