u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
