So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You made out with two different species that night
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
