I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
