I love black thongs
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She tied me up with her honor cords...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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