I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
