omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
there is glitter all over my balls
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