I puked a lego.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
