Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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