4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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