Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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