No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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