i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
