i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
