I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
