i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize