that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Green mimosas i think yes
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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