remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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