her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
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