Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize