Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
