I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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