Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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