I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
