I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
