We're like a lot better than the average bears
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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