it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
