I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize