Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
