first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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