that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
